The “Should Be” Trap

The spontaneous urge towards development, which is within the child, dictates its own pace.”
-Maria Montessori

The beginning of the year in the Children's House unfolds in a way that resembles the unfolding of development. Our first days are spent just enjoying one another, getting to know each other, and getting to know the environment around us. We play games, sing songs, and simply learn how to be in our space. We spend a lot of time out in nature and participate in lots of practical life! It is through practical life that the children connect with and take ownership of their environment and themselves. The tears that we see in those early days comes from a grief within a child who is just wondering, "Where can my love go? Can I give it to these adults? Can I give it to these friends? Can I give it to this space?"

Now we have been together for several weeks, and little by little, the children are coming to know me and I am getting to know them. The youngest children have had enough presentations to get them through the morning, with a few songs, games, and stories mixed in. The older children who now have a long repertoire of activities to choose from, are helping the younger children with cleaning up spills, folding the clean laundry of washcloths, setting up for lunch, and the many other ways to care for our beautiful space that they have learned over the years.

This is one of those little pockets of time where a directress can observe the environment and see many beautiful examples of self-mastery, but in those in between moments, begin to think things like, "This child wrote and illustrated a sentence in the first week of school, he should be writing sentences each day. . .This child should be walking in our classroom. . . This child should be choosing the materials that I presented to him yesterday. . .This child should not be wrestling on the floor with his favorite buddy. . .

It's just our human nature to show a child how to do something or to give them an instruction knowing that they are capable of doing it. But then they don't; and our immediate response is often, "they should be . . ." But when I hear the word should in my mind, I shift my perspective. What does this child need? I gave him the presentation, but now he's not choosing it? Why? Living with children in a Montessori way, requires us to ask ourselves hard questions, like "What does this child still need me to do? Am I giving them a safe place to put their love?" I love a method of being with children where the adults need to look at themselves and notice, "This child needs me to sit next to him a little longer while he does his work or this child needs me to show more grace and courtesy to the community or this child needs me to back off and give more time and space after an instruction."

We are all working on self-mastery and there are glimmers of it everyday and the children are stretching themselves and improving themselves and we are all developing ourselves. This is a time to trust in the method, to trust that this environment that we prepared will give them everything we need, to trust that the children will find it, and to trust in ourselves that with patience and love that we will turn the glimmers of self-mastery into long stretches of concentration and self-mastery. It is hidden within the child, and comes when we are least expecting it.

Phase-In : How to help your child have a great year, from the start!

Have you noticed that your child is more tired at the beginning of the school year? School is a child’s work and that work is to construct themselves, not just intellectually, but also physically, socially, emotionally, morally and spiritually. That is big work! It’s important to move at the child’s pace and allow them to properly adjust to a new place, a new schedule, new children, sometimes even new adults. Having a stabilizing period in which the child and guide get to know one another in the environment is important. During this gentle transition, a sense of security and comfort is fostered for the child toward his new environment and the group of children in the classroom. This sets your child up for a successful year of learning.

Why We Phase-In

The children are eager and excited about the year of learning ahead. The learning environment is stimulating; it is a place where independence will flourish as the child experiences freedom of choice within the classroom. Each child will gradually learn how to handle this choice and sense of freedom while respecting and caring for others in the classroom, the learning materials, and the classroom environment itself. The phase-in process allows the new children to get an overview of how things work in the classroom. Children who are returning from previous years are reminded of the classroom rules.

• Phase-in sets the tone of the classroom by respecting and caring for one another, as well as the environment. It sets the stage for independent learning.

• The gradual phase-in allows the child to absorb and digest new concepts and ideas without becoming overwhelmed and confused by too much information. This is why days are shorter in the beginning of the learning cycle.

• Children need short increments of time in order to establish and re-establish procedures and ground rules. Routine is important to children and order is a fundamental human need! Children need time to orient themselves with classroom materials and the physical space (cubbies, bathroom location, etc.)

A Phase-In Schedule Is The Key To Success

We understand that slowly bringing the children into the new school year can feel like a juggling act for parents. Parents may need to alter working schedules temporarily in order to meet the needs of the phase-in schedule. Childcare might need to be arranged if that is not an option. In the end, the balancing act becomes well worth it. Children need to build trust in their environment, their peers, and their guides so that they can explore independently. During the first six years of life, the child’s mind works like a sponge, absorbing everything around it. Too much too fast can be overwhelming, and can ultimately hinder the child from reaching their full potential.

Following The Child

In Montessori, we use the phrase “Follow the Child” quite often. We believe that children are born with an amazingly powerful potential and desire to learn, and as adults our job is to simply guide them. We believe that applies to schedules as well. Placing a child in school to fit an adult schedule doesn’t always work. The days might be too long for them, they might get exhausted and grumpy, and it might discourage them to pursue their natural drive to learn. By starting out slowly, you are giving the child the opportunity to go at their own pace, learning with confidence, and building up their energy to learn for full work cycles.

What is Our Curriculum? The Universe!

By Jennifer Luetkemeyer, Elementary Guide

“Let us give children a vision of the universe” -Maria Montessori

The first classrooms designed to serve the second plane child in the way we strive to imitate at Renaissance today were found in Holland in the 1920s. Dr. Montessori observed another teacher who was already meeting the needs of the children in a profoundly non-traditional way and thereby developed and refined her ideas into what she called “Cosmic Education.” In a lecture given at the University of Amsterdam in 1950, Dr. Montessori said, “...all methods of education based on centers of interest which have been chosen by adults are wrong. Moreover, these centers of interest are superfluous, for the child is interested in everything. A global vision of cosmic events fascinates the child and his interest will soon remain fixed on one particular part, as a starting point for more intensive studies.”

When asked about our curriculum, then, Montessori guides can confidently answer: the universe, its furnishings, those who live/have lived within it, and all of their stories! As the children’s interests are innumerable, so also are the possibilities of what they might choose to explore! While traditional teachers prepare lessons and areas of study within particular subjects, our work is to give rich, inspiring stories and exposure to concepts and materials - but to purposefully limit what we offer. “We do not want complacent students,” Dr. Montessori warned.

We do not hope they will leave our presentations satisfied but rather itching to learn more... preferably right away! We want the children stirred up at school, noisy and chatty, and then coming home, begging parents to take them to a battlefield or to help them to further research some fascinating detail to fan the fires we seek to ignite here during the day.

Our materials, therefore, are also intentionally limited. We offer a foundation but not the whole story; we leave room for the children to fill in the details for themselves! To this end, we find it deeply satisfying when children make their own materials - either for their own enjoyment or for the benefit of the community.