The Importance of Routine

The Importance of Routine

And Some Tips for Establishing One at Home

Routines.  Whether you are the kind of person who can’t function without a daily planner or someone who likes to go with the flow, routines are necessary for survival. No, seriously!  Routines come from the human need for orientation and order, and human needs and tendencies are deeply ingrained within us, given to us as gifts from God. To be able to survive, man needs food, water, shelter and clothing.  Once these basic physical needs have been met, man can carve out his spiritual territory through his intelligence, imagination, and love.   While there are a number of human needs and tendencies, the goal of each is the same: to allow us to become part of, and belong to, a group.  

You might laugh at the notion that children are inherently drawn to orientation and order. One look at the placemat of a young child’s space at the dinner table, or the toys left on the bedroom floor would seem to say that children have no knowledge of these things. But Dr. Montessori describes order as the tendency of being able to put things into a right relationship. She writes, 

“nature gives small children an intrinsic sensibility to order, as built up by an inner sense, which is a sense not of distinction between things, but of distinction of the relationship between things, so that it perceives an environment as a whole with interdependent parts.” 

As we get older, order is important to function as a community. It is the basis for all life and creativity. It allows for a sequential plan to be possible. It allows for language (e.g. the order of words in a sentence). Order keeps us in place and allows for creativity to make something new.  

It is more difficult to orient oneself if there is disorder, and this is especially true for young children. 

“It seems to him, at this stage, a particularly vital matter that everything in his environment should be kept in its accustomed place; and that the actions of the day should be carried out in their accustomed routine.” (E.M. Standing, Maria Montessori: Her Life and Work, p. 123).  

Anyone who has ever had to move to a new home and unpack belongings can understand this.  In order to explore, one needs to be able to find his way back, which is done through orientation.  We make points of contact or landmarks for ourselves. For children, it can be very upsetting if things are moved from one place to another because it can create a sense of instability. It is very important to establish orientation and order in the early years!

So, how do we accomplish all of these things: routine, orientation, order? Well first, take some of the pressure off yourself knowing that regardless of life’s circumstances, our natural tendency is to bring ourselves back to order, even in the midst of chaos. And keep in mind that the bigger picture of establishing routine is to help your children understand where and how they fit into the family dynamic, or how they “belong to a group.” This doesn’t need to be a rigid schedule or require strict rules; rather, it is about establishing consistency so that children know what to expect, which helps them to feel secure in their environment. 

On a practical level, here are some areas to look at when looking to provide order and consistency for your young children:

1. Establishing a morning and nightime routine

2. Having dinner together as a family every night

3. Cleaning up after dinner

4. Putting toys away before bedtime

5. Planning family outings

6. Establishing a family prayer time 

Scheduling routines and setting expectations is also a great way to provide order. It might be something as simple as setting up the expectation that each morning we all eat breakfast, brush our teeth, get dressed, read a book, then get in the car.  

As a side note, we also have to recognize that time can be a factor in setting routines. Firstly, remember that routines take time to establish, so give yourself a grace period. Secondly, parents often wonder how to balance giving their children the ability to be independent while also looking at the clock and realizing if little Charlie doesn’t get his clothes on NOW, the whole family is going to be late for school. So be gentle and forgiving to yourselves! Lastly, prepare your environment so that you keep ahead of the obstacles that take too much time. Pack lunches the night before and involve your children with that process, even if it just means they get to put the apple or orange in everyone’s lunchbox. Set out uniforms and clothes during the bedtime routine so that everyone can get dressed more easily in the morning. And try to keep mornings quiet without any TV or screens so that there aren’t extra distractions while heading out the door.  

When we establish order, children begin to learn that everything has its place, everything has its meaning, and everything has its time. At both home and school, we work on this one layer at a time so that the children can continuously grow to learn inner discipline, to develop independence and confidence, and to create and construct the person God has intended them to be.

The “Should Be” Trap

The spontaneous urge towards development, which is within the child, dictates its own pace.”
-Maria Montessori

The beginning of the year in the Children's House unfolds in a way that resembles the unfolding of development. Our first days are spent just enjoying one another, getting to know each other, and getting to know the environment around us. We play games, sing songs, and simply learn how to be in our space. We spend a lot of time out in nature and participate in lots of practical life! It is through practical life that the children connect with and take ownership of their environment and themselves. The tears that we see in those early days comes from a grief within a child who is just wondering, "Where can my love go? Can I give it to these adults? Can I give it to these friends? Can I give it to this space?"

Now we have been together for several weeks, and little by little, the children are coming to know me and I am getting to know them. The youngest children have had enough presentations to get them through the morning, with a few songs, games, and stories mixed in. The older children who now have a long repertoire of activities to choose from, are helping the younger children with cleaning up spills, folding the clean laundry of washcloths, setting up for lunch, and the many other ways to care for our beautiful space that they have learned over the years.

This is one of those little pockets of time where a directress can observe the environment and see many beautiful examples of self-mastery, but in those in between moments, begin to think things like, "This child wrote and illustrated a sentence in the first week of school, he should be writing sentences each day. . .This child should be walking in our classroom. . . This child should be choosing the materials that I presented to him yesterday. . .This child should not be wrestling on the floor with his favorite buddy. . .

It's just our human nature to show a child how to do something or to give them an instruction knowing that they are capable of doing it. But then they don't; and our immediate response is often, "they should be . . ." But when I hear the word should in my mind, I shift my perspective. What does this child need? I gave him the presentation, but now he's not choosing it? Why? Living with children in a Montessori way, requires us to ask ourselves hard questions, like "What does this child still need me to do? Am I giving them a safe place to put their love?" I love a method of being with children where the adults need to look at themselves and notice, "This child needs me to sit next to him a little longer while he does his work or this child needs me to show more grace and courtesy to the community or this child needs me to back off and give more time and space after an instruction."

We are all working on self-mastery and there are glimmers of it everyday and the children are stretching themselves and improving themselves and we are all developing ourselves. This is a time to trust in the method, to trust that this environment that we prepared will give them everything we need, to trust that the children will find it, and to trust in ourselves that with patience and love that we will turn the glimmers of self-mastery into long stretches of concentration and self-mastery. It is hidden within the child, and comes when we are least expecting it.

Phase-In : How to help your child have a great year, from the start!

Have you noticed that your child is more tired at the beginning of the school year? School is a child’s work and that work is to construct themselves, not just intellectually, but also physically, socially, emotionally, morally and spiritually. That is big work! It’s important to move at the child’s pace and allow them to properly adjust to a new place, a new schedule, new children, sometimes even new adults. Having a stabilizing period in which the child and guide get to know one another in the environment is important. During this gentle transition, a sense of security and comfort is fostered for the child toward his new environment and the group of children in the classroom. This sets your child up for a successful year of learning.

Why We Phase-In

The children are eager and excited about the year of learning ahead. The learning environment is stimulating; it is a place where independence will flourish as the child experiences freedom of choice within the classroom. Each child will gradually learn how to handle this choice and sense of freedom while respecting and caring for others in the classroom, the learning materials, and the classroom environment itself. The phase-in process allows the new children to get an overview of how things work in the classroom. Children who are returning from previous years are reminded of the classroom rules.

• Phase-in sets the tone of the classroom by respecting and caring for one another, as well as the environment. It sets the stage for independent learning.

• The gradual phase-in allows the child to absorb and digest new concepts and ideas without becoming overwhelmed and confused by too much information. This is why days are shorter in the beginning of the learning cycle.

• Children need short increments of time in order to establish and re-establish procedures and ground rules. Routine is important to children and order is a fundamental human need! Children need time to orient themselves with classroom materials and the physical space (cubbies, bathroom location, etc.)

A Phase-In Schedule Is The Key To Success

We understand that slowly bringing the children into the new school year can feel like a juggling act for parents. Parents may need to alter working schedules temporarily in order to meet the needs of the phase-in schedule. Childcare might need to be arranged if that is not an option. In the end, the balancing act becomes well worth it. Children need to build trust in their environment, their peers, and their guides so that they can explore independently. During the first six years of life, the child’s mind works like a sponge, absorbing everything around it. Too much too fast can be overwhelming, and can ultimately hinder the child from reaching their full potential.

Following The Child

In Montessori, we use the phrase “Follow the Child” quite often. We believe that children are born with an amazingly powerful potential and desire to learn, and as adults our job is to simply guide them. We believe that applies to schedules as well. Placing a child in school to fit an adult schedule doesn’t always work. The days might be too long for them, they might get exhausted and grumpy, and it might discourage them to pursue their natural drive to learn. By starting out slowly, you are giving the child the opportunity to go at their own pace, learning with confidence, and building up their energy to learn for full work cycles.