The Importance of Routine
And Some Tips for Establishing One at Home
Routines. Whether you are the kind of person who can’t function without a daily planner or someone who likes to go with the flow, routines are necessary for survival. No, seriously! Routines come from the human need for orientation and order, and human needs and tendencies are deeply ingrained within us, given to us as gifts from God. To be able to survive, man needs food, water, shelter and clothing. Once these basic physical needs have been met, man can carve out his spiritual territory through his intelligence, imagination, and love. While there are a number of human needs and tendencies, the goal of each is the same: to allow us to become part of, and belong to, a group.
You might laugh at the notion that children are inherently drawn to orientation and order. One look at the placemat of a young child’s space at the dinner table, or the toys left on the bedroom floor would seem to say that children have no knowledge of these things. But Dr. Montessori describes order as the tendency of being able to put things into a right relationship. She writes,
“nature gives small children an intrinsic sensibility to order, as built up by an inner sense, which is a sense not of distinction between things, but of distinction of the relationship between things, so that it perceives an environment as a whole with interdependent parts.”
As we get older, order is important to function as a community. It is the basis for all life and creativity. It allows for a sequential plan to be possible. It allows for language (e.g. the order of words in a sentence). Order keeps us in place and allows for creativity to make something new.
It is more difficult to orient oneself if there is disorder, and this is especially true for young children.
“It seems to him, at this stage, a particularly vital matter that everything in his environment should be kept in its accustomed place; and that the actions of the day should be carried out in their accustomed routine.” (E.M. Standing, Maria Montessori: Her Life and Work, p. 123).
Anyone who has ever had to move to a new home and unpack belongings can understand this. In order to explore, one needs to be able to find his way back, which is done through orientation. We make points of contact or landmarks for ourselves. For children, it can be very upsetting if things are moved from one place to another because it can create a sense of instability. It is very important to establish orientation and order in the early years!
So, how do we accomplish all of these things: routine, orientation, order? Well first, take some of the pressure off yourself knowing that regardless of life’s circumstances, our natural tendency is to bring ourselves back to order, even in the midst of chaos. And keep in mind that the bigger picture of establishing routine is to help your children understand where and how they fit into the family dynamic, or how they “belong to a group.” This doesn’t need to be a rigid schedule or require strict rules; rather, it is about establishing consistency so that children know what to expect, which helps them to feel secure in their environment.
On a practical level, here are some areas to look at when looking to provide order and consistency for your young children:
Establishing a morning and nightime routine
Having dinner together as a family every night
Cleaning up after dinner
Putting toys away before bedtime
Planning family outings
Establishing a family prayer time
Scheduling routines and setting expectations is also a great way to provide order. It might be something as simple as setting up the expectation that each morning we all eat breakfast, brush our teeth, get dressed, read a book, then get in the car.
As a side note, we also have to recognize that time can be a factor in setting routines. Firstly, remember that routines take time to establish, so give yourself a grace period. Secondly, parents often wonder how to balance giving their children the ability to be independent while also looking at the clock and realizing if little Charlie doesn’t get his clothes on NOW, the whole family is going to be late for school. So be gentle and forgiving to yourselves! Lastly, prepare your environment so that you keep ahead of the obstacles that take too much time. Pack lunches the night before and involve your children with that process, even if it just means they get to put the apple or orange in everyone’s lunchbox. Set out uniforms and clothes during the bedtime routine so that everyone can get dressed more easily in the morning. And try to keep mornings quiet without any TV or screens so that there aren’t extra distractions while heading out the door.
When we establish order, children begin to learn that everything has its place, everything has its meaning, and everything has its time. At both home and school, we work on this one layer at a time so that the children can continuously grow to learn inner discipline, to develop independence and confidence, and to create and construct the person God has intended them to be.