In our Children's House, we refine and improve our little society throughGrace and Courtesy. The little skits performed by Senora Medina and I during our morning gathering are exaggerated and sometimes funny so they capture the children's attention and then they want to act and speak in these ways, too. Grace and Courtesy is also established through modeling and clear language by the adults and older children.
What is Grace? A beautiful, unmerited gift that we receive from God to remain with Him. When I think of someone who is 'Full of Grace,' our Blessed Mother comes to my mind. So, how might she be a model for us in our daily interactions with children? I have often wondered how she might have responded when the child Jesus sneezed or tried to get up from the table before the meal was finished or ran off in a different direction. Surely, he needed to learn how to do things in the right way. How did she respond? How did she teach him?
Courtesy is how we extend that gift to others through refinement of our movements, our words, our tone of voice and the overall consideration of others.
In our children's formative years, they are absorbing the behaviors and manners modeled by the adults and children around them, and therefore Grace and Courtesy is essential to the peacefulness and respect in our environments: school, home, play yards or wherever we are. Before the age of two and a half, children are taking everything in (we refer to them as an Unconscious Worker) so we want to give them all that is true, good and beautiful. Between 2 and 1/2 and 6, they are more conscious of their actions and those around them, and are refining all of these inputs and taking in more still! They refine by practicing their tone of voice, their actions, their language, how to treat others in social situations and what is acceptable and not acceptable.
(Here I will add...It is especially good to remember that when choosing shows or any media inputs for your children at home, these should also reflect the courtesy that you want your child to be absorbing!)
In our classroom we are trying to establish a culture of respect towards others through mindfulness of these virtues and details. When the teachers and parents are mindful of their own words, tone of voice, and movements the children respond in these same ways. When I give my full attention to a presentation using the materials and cleaning up to prepare something for the next person to use, the children do this too. When I make sure the classroomistidy and beautiful or notice when children are hurt or sad, the children notice too. They are watching everything we do and repeating everything we say.
Some examples ofGraceand courtesy skits that we offer:
How to say, " excuse me " when passing by someone;
How to put your sneeze inside your elbow and saying, " God bless you" to someone who sneezes;
How to wait for a teacher's attention when she is busy with someone else;
How to walk around a work mat that is on the floor so that we don't step on somebody else's work;
How to open and close a door quietly;
How to observe others working in the environment;
How to walk on by someone who is working without disturbing them;
How to put a heart on your table or work mat when you need help from a friend.
Dr Montessori recognized that children will be naughty at times, and warned their adults (parents and caregivers) not to give into these irritations with harsh language or actions, because it breaks down relationships, whichisfoundational for young children. Instead, model and show childrenwhatto doin different situations and they will happier and more compliant in the long run... and parentingis, by the way... a long run.
