For the last three weeks, the talk by Jesse McCarthy, who we hosted on January 18th, has been steeping in my brain like a pungent tea. I thought that it might benefit all of us this week to return to what was said on that night. I also wanted to share a few choice nuggets from the next morning, when during our snow-globe of a professional development day, our staff sat in the parent lounge and enjoyed a wide ranging discussion with our guest speaker.
I was glad to see so many elementary students in attendance at this talk! Surely each of us hears and remembers things a bit differently. What I present is a direct adaptation of my own notes from those two days, edited for clarity and adapted for this particular audience.
Jesse McCarthy's "Montessori conversion story" begins with the experience of bringing some adolescent students on a weeklong trip to Washington DC. They saw history and art they had previously only heard about. But what was it that these kids remembered best? It was the time they were challenged to navigate the DC Metro on their own! He realized he was guiding the children too much. What they relished was the challenge.
Montessori education is "education for life". He does not mean this as in "you need to be ready" for middle school, high school, college, a career or whatever it is we think we need to prepare children for. Rather, it is preparing them for a happy fulfilled life.
Self discipline is important for all of us to cultivate--whether we are parents, teachers, or students.
In a 1946 lecture in London, Maria Montessori said, "there is only one way up, and that is through our own efforts and our own conquests." We must give the children what they need to struggle and journey towards success. We should not spoon feed them.
"Dependency breeds hostility". Helping children cultivate independence will enhance our connection with our children. Real connection comes from doing things that matter together.
Our goals in Montessori education are long term. This is not about being able to do such-n-such at age 5.
On a particular day, we may observe in a classroom and it seems chaotic, but it is the long term that matters. There will be better and worse days, periods of lesser or greater progress.
Acknowledging a child's emotions can go a long way when they are upset. They do not need you to solve their problems, but it can be very helpful for you to say, "I know you are angry right now" or "yes, you sound like you were very disappointed." Allow your children to be upset.
The way to teach a child to share is not to force them to share. It is to model sharing behavior.
It is very easy for us to enforce an adult moral framework on a child for whom it is inappropriate. For example, a three your old not wanting to share their toy is not truly being selfish.
In general, we should all be less stressed, less guilty, and more patient with children. If we have been parenting or teaching in a way that is counterproductive, let us not beat ourselves up about it. Jesse McCarthy's maxim was, "no stress, no guilt, just chill."
More screen time equals less concentration on the classroom and the natural world.
It is our interest in the screen that drives a child's interest in the screen.
We will always need to be able to do real things with our hands, eyes, and ears. What are some cool things each of us can do with our family in the real world where we are not on screens.
If there is something we want a child to be able to do independently, ponder if it is too much for them at this point. If it is, can they do it with you instead? They may need some time of close collaboration with an adult before they can do something entirely independently.
We should all cultivate adaptability--whether we are teachers, parents, or children.
I hope some part of these gnomic utterances has made you think today--there are some I have been pondering for a few weeks now! If you couldn't make the talk, find a friend in the community who was there and get their take on it.
